What does “finding your why” mean and why is it important?

This subject is very close to my heart. Simply put, finding your “why” means finding purpose and clarity about where you are going in life and what you are doing.  This is important because when you understand your purpose and where you are going, often times you are also likely to find inner peace and fulfillment. An example of this is when I became a published author of three books in order to honor my mother’s legacy. She always wanted to be a published author but did not fulfill that dream before she transitioned in 2018. Therefore, I became a published author. My “why” was completing this action because she did not and in doing so I found inner peace.

How does one find their “why?”

There are a number of ways that one can find their way, I’ll share examples of how I found my why.

Listening to your inner voice. I felt led to take a number of significant actions over a short period of time that were out of the ordinary, however, the urge was so strong that I felt a need to comply. That compliance later led to my sense of fulfillment after those very specific actions were completed. 

Pursue your greatest strength. I had a habit of wearing stilettos everywhere and knack for marketing and I combined those two elements together and launched a notable brand. I knew my strengths, what I was great at, and pursued my passion. 

Desire to leave a legacy.  After my mother transitioned in 2018, life took on a whole new different meaning. As I began to live in the honorable legacy of my mother, in those moments, I too realized I wanted to live a life worthy of an honorable legacy. This is something that I actually did – I wrote my obituary, as it would read today; then I went a step further and wrote what I wanted it to say. Because there was a slight gap, I have more work to do in order to leave the kind of impact that I want to leave when I am gone.

Does every person need to find his or her “why?” Is that what’s life’s all about?

I believe that anyone who is looking for a sense of peace, contentment and fulfillment in life must discover their purpose and work towards that. Otherwise, without knowing what you’re doing or why, you’re essentially going through life like a paper bag in the wind – with no direction, floating aimlessly with no end in sight.

How has finding your “why” changed your life?

Finding my why has added more meaning, significance and value to my life. It has also helped me to remain steadfast and consistent.  Ever since I decided that my why would lead most of my actions, I have been able to push through the hard times, because I was determined to satisfy my why.

Can your “why” change, or can you have multiple “whys?”

I absolutely think that a person can change their why and have multiple “whys”.  Like I stated earlier, I started out completing actions in order to honor my mother’s legacy (which is the “why” behind my becoming a published author of three books) and during that process, it became clear to me, that I also needed to complete a different set of actions in order to leave behind a legacy of my own. Therefore, in this example, I am working to satisfy multiple “whys” after having discovered that I should and could change the focus of my why. 

Once you’ve found your “why,” then what?

Sometimes finding one’s why is a lifelong pursuit. For me, my why was triggered after my mom’s transition. Once you discover your why, it’s not going to be a matter of then what, you will feel inspired, motivated and determined to satisfy your why and you’ll know that it’s your true “why” because every time you feel like giving up and you think about why you started, you’ll immediately find the strength and your “how” to get it done.

For more information on Kinyatta E. Gray and her library of work, visit kinyattagray.com